Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
porn star boner night. come get it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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