I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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