I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm getting married
To pizza
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
