i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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