well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
