I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
