I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
