she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
