I like my sex mixed with concussions.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
