I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Bring me that man meat
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
