Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
