If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
