You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
