we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
