Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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