Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
