Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I just went to clothing optional bar
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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