his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
