You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
