woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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