thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
