Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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