so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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