bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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