Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
