Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
