: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
