I'm going to jail i love you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
