so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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