That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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