it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
