Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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