D3 body, D1 cock
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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