All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
