Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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