oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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