Don't you send me to vm
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
