For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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