how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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