11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
