I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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