may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
