omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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