i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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