when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
