is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
