I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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