he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
