She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
