Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
