Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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