How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
