ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
