Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
