Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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