Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
